My Healing Journey

When I was a child, I would have told you I wanted to be a Care Bear when I grew up, the one with the rainbow on its belly.  

When I grew to 6 feet tall at age 14 in this biracial body, I experienced extreme self-consciousness and loneliness. Developing an eating disorder was the only solution I saw for coping, the only way I could control getting smaller in an effort to seek acceptance from my society. I battled that for the better part of 9 years, experiencing a plethora of medical complications including seizures, passing out and peeing my pants while pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion with exercise. Instead of my medical doctor noticing my weight disruption and amenorrhea as signs of an eating disorder, I was put on birth control to mask my missing periods, which also gave me a hall pass to never discuss sexual health when I became sexually active in my later teens. I then experienced sexual assault in my early 20s, which further complicated the disconnection from my body, womb, and sexuality.

I found my way to OT in 2006 after witnessing the profound impact this therapy had on my grandfather.  He acquired a fragility fracture while digging a hole in the garden on his 80th birthday.  He felt betrayed by his body, disconnected from the things that brought meaning to his life, and, frankly, was giving up. It can be so hard to stay connected to who we are when we feel betrayed by our bodies. I watched the seemingly simple interventions crafted by his occupational therapist transform him from a sick and defeated old man back to my papa. 

During OT school, I knew I had made the right choice anytime I got to be that Care Bear for someone during a vulnerable time. At this stage of life, I also developed a better understanding of what fills my cup.  I discovered a love for yoga and moving my body to music, while I deepened my relationship with nature and travel. As I became more connected to mother earth and my body, I was called to get off of birth control for the first time since I was 14. This was followed by an onset of symptoms such as painful periods, sporadic shooting pain, burning and heavy sensations in my pelvis, and pain with intercourse. Shame and fear that I was broken accompanied these symptoms and exacerbated issues with my mental health and intimate relationships. Over the course of the next several years, I went to many providers to understand what was happening.  Some of the “answers” I received were that the ultrasound didn’t reveal anything significant, I should just go back on birth control, I didn’t have STIs so it was nothing to worry about, and maybe it was my boyfriend’s fault. I became even more isolated and confused about these things that I knew were not right in my body. While I continued to seemingly thrive by societal standards, the pain in my body grew louder, then waned, then grew louder again, and so on.

I started to recognize the correlation between eating disorders and pelvic floor dysfunction at my job at the hospital and I pursued further education in this area. Through focusing my training on pelvic floor therapy, I simultaneously got some meaningful answers for my own pelvic health. It took me years to find the pelvic health subspecialty area in my rehab career, so I want to take a minute and commend you for finding my site and exploring this type of healing, because that can be a long journey in itself. 

The inception of Liberate Pelvic Health came at a pivotal time in my life. I woke up to the blatant discrimination in healthcare perpetuated by clinician biases and institutional inefficiencies, which reinforces a system that is unable to meet the needs of the community it serves at large. Working within this system catalyzed a deep healing process of decolonizing my own heart and soul, and allowed me to expand my clinical focus beyond institutionalized healthcare; for this I am deeply grateful.  Pelvic Floor PT was a helpful aspect of my healing journey. I was able to take the education from that plan of care and integrate it with holistic tools and further self-exploration to create lasting change.

I see clearly that there is a pelvic health crisis right now, and many people not getting the care for the problems they have or aren’t satisfied with the options available through the healthcare system. I believe all people are created equal and that they deserve services that treat them as such. That requires the practitioner to be willing to do the ongoing work to understand their own biases and how that impacts the way they see and treat those they serve.  

In addition to studying the musculoskeletal approach for pelvic floor rehabilitation with Herman and Wallace Institute, I am also an ongoing student of traditional and indigenous healing lineages, including peristeaming, yoga, and de-armouring. 

I believe it’s important to share my story and values to normalize talking about pelvic health and disparities in healthcare to better help you decide if working together feels like a good fit. Pelvic health is dynamic, layered, and personal. My lived experience affords a deep understanding of how nuanced the journey of pelvic healing can be. I would be honored to work with you in healing your pelvic health concerns to reduce the impact they have on your daily functioning.